Reflections from Singapore and Seoul Trip

Ion Chibzii from Chisinau. , Moldova.“Pending” (1968).

  1. Maybe my mum is right, I am destined to be single
    • My requirements are too high and I don’t have a strong desire to find a partner. Was chatting with the 1st lady I ever fell in love with (and arguably the most in love with compared to any ladies I’ve ever liked) and the discussion made it depressingly clear that the probability I find a partner is extremely low.
      • Forget about all my detailed checklists anymore, I realize there’s only 3 things I look for in a partner that truly matters, which is I need someone who is conceptually smart, has strong empathy and respects my time. But let’s be honest, finding people with any of the three is hard enough, let alone all three
      • I don’t have a strong desire to find a partner due to me having too much fun with seeing friends and doing my interests
      • The lady said she lucked out when I asked her for tips as a fellow INFJ on how she found her strong fit (current fiancé). Considering I’m the type of person who’s lucked out in friendships, career and finances, I cannot fathom how I can have as much luck in the romantic relationship department (there must be reversion to the mean of luck somehow, either in other areas of my life or later on in life). A low success rate in compatibility plus a low desire and thus focus to source strong fits means logically speaking I’m very unlikely to find a partner that’s good enough to entice me, let alone who’s also interested in me
    • I’m too complex. My good friend said that I’m too multi-dimensional, introverted while extroverted, emotional yet rational and systematic but also flexible. Any person who is purely one-sided would have a hard time dealing with me because of how much I’ve developed both sides of the MBTI spectrum (besides N/S, where I’m purely N)
    • I get really bored very fast due to my vast interests. I realized through this trip that there’s a reason why I need variety in meetups with friends, and that’s because I just haven’t really met anyone in this world that’s fascinating enough to not bore me after spending lots of time together. I need to see a variety of friends because I have too many interests (investing, psychology, decision making, rap, comedy, film making, philosophy, history, politics, economy, energy (environment), poker, soccer etc.), because there’s just no one person who can chat intensively on that many topics with me
  2. I really want to prioritize on friendships for now
    • Was sharing with the 1st lady I ever fell in love with that if I ever move to a new city, the 1st thing I’d do is try to meet different friends (lest I die of boredom due to my vast interests) rather than find a partner. The rationale is simple in investing terms
      • Friends (if filtered properly) are low risk and average to good (occasionally great) return investment opportunities
      • Partners (even after proper filtering) are high risk and below average to great return investment opportunities (worst part is I’ve never found a lady who gave me average returns, let alone good to great returns, just way more emotional headaches that doesn’t warrant the effort)
      • In the ideal world where I had infinite time, I’d go for the Partners route because I only need to succeed once. But if I were to move to a new city where I had a finite time period of 2-3 years there, for my mental sanity, it’s probably prudent to build a network of variety of friends instead of concentrating time and energy on just one or a few potentially high risk opportunities that might end up just being zeros by the end of my stay, which I cannot afford. There’s a reason why venture capitalists spread their bets so much, it’s because in order to find the unicorns (1 billion USD valuations) they need to survive the risk of failure by minimizing the damage each failure of betting would cause them
      • Also even if I were to find an ideal partner, the struggle between finding enough time to meet a variety of friends to keep me sane and giving enough time and energy to maintain the relationship with my partner is going to be so difficult
    • I really don’t want to go through the headache of caring so much about someone anymore (or maybe because it’s too recent). I seem to always care more about the other person rather than vice versa whenever I like someone and go for it, and I don’t think I’ve ever been truly happy in those relationships. If I don’t want these types of relationships bad, if these types of relationships make me more upset than happy in general, it doesn’t make sense to proactively look for these types of relationships anymore. Only if the other person wants it bad would I consider, since then turning up my commitment level is not a question at all since I have plenty of commitment in my makeup if I want a relationship to work
  3. I’m surprised I’m still pissed off as hell when I’m reminded of people I used to really care about who disappoint me multiple times. There’s a point in me that’s just pissed off on why I still care and just wants to let go
  4. My biggest motivation in life is to have the ability to really don’t give a fuck without any of the repercussions really affecting my survival. It’s what driven most of my biggest decisions in life, and thankfully I’m on the right track
  5. I’m quite ruthless these days. Spending so much studying rationality and decision making and applying it in investing and poker has made me very good at cutting losses if I realize I made a mistake, but sometimes I find myself a bit too trigger happy with cutting loose relationships or objects
  6. I’ve pretty much figured out what my next steps are in terms of priority outside of work once Feb 1st starts (in chronological order):
    1. Secure a 2nd hand car
    2. Convert international driving license to Swiss driving license
    3. Find St Gallen University German courses to attend during weekday evenings (at least 1), and ramp up frequency if I can handle it without affecting #2 priority
    4. Go to Zurich / Munich during weekends and join Standard German speaking / learning meet up groups
    5. After 1-2 months I should be able to figure out where I want to live (Buchs / St Gallen), then I make my move for house hunting. In the meantime I’d rather stay in a hotel which is cheaper than renting a normal house whilst it gives me optionality
    6. Depending on my assessment by 1-2 months of living in Switzerland, I’ll really learn to cook tasty food if I realize I enjoy or feel the need of inviting people over to my house or joining food parties in the area
    7. Once I’m at conversational level of German (can understand 80% of a customer visit in German speaking countries), I will spend more time during weekdays / weekends joining interest based meet ups and youth hostels in nearby areas to aggressively broaden my network of friends
    8. Start learning French using italki and Duolingo until I’m at conversational level of French. It makes sense just because France is my 2nd largest market, I have basic level of French, and French is 1 of the 2 official languages of Canada (hint: I’m Canadian)
  7. In terms of work, I’m prepared to deal with the 3 month idiot curve by working ~50-55 hours / week in the 1st 3 months. My next line manager has put lots of faith and beared lots of risk hiring me, so I want to make sure I’m not a liability  and become a very productive member of his team by the end of the 3rd month. That’s the least I could do to repay him
  8. I cannot fathom why I’m so lucky to have so many loving and kind friends in my life
  9. I’m starting to love the process of making videos more and more. It’s really fun to come up with a video idea and then find a song (or vice versa), storyboard, plan out all the resources you need, execute and possibly ask for assistance from friends during execution, edit and then wrap up the video idea
  10. I’m starting to worry if I’m spending too much money and that this becomes a habit
  11. Making the effort to visit cities that have 2+ friends is totally worth it (USA here I come very soon, haha)
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